October
by arisanightray
Summary: Munakata's birthday without Mikoto


**Hello, My name is Arisa and this is my first fanfiction. English is not my country's language so I'm sorry if the grammer are mistake. I write this story after heard October by Evanscence, and I recommended that song.**

**Warning : boy x boy**

**Disclaimer : I own nothing**.

**October**

Munakata opened his eyes at the sound of his alarm clock went off. He shut off the alarm, looked for his PDA, and looked at the screen. Tuesday, October 1st, 08:00.

"Shit, I'm late!" He panicked and hurried to the wardrobe. Suddenly, he stopped and stood in front of the bathroom door.

"It's my birthday, which means it's holiday..." Munakata sighed of relief, since he did not have to rush to go to work. He walked back to the bed and lay down. He thought it was weird this morning. There is something missing. He thought, figuring out what's missing. And when he already knew the answer, he chuckled as he rubbed his head.

"Hahaha, shit." He cursed softly as she felt the tears come out. Mikoto. The missing on his birthday this year was Mikoto. Munakata thought better to bathe. He closed his eyes as he recalled his birthday last year.

_I can't run anymore,_

_I fall before you,_

_Here I am,_

_I have nothing left,_

**Flashback**

Munakata felt there was someone sleeping next to him. When he opened his eyes, his eyes met with glazed eyes of a person whose red hair is a mess.

"Good morning, Reisi." Said Mikoto while hilding his left hand. Munakata smiled when he knew the first thing he saw at his birthday was his boyfriend. Munakata stared. He knew Mikoto was still sleepy. In Munakata's birthday, Mikoto would wake up in the morning and went to the apartment to wake Munakata up.

Mikoto was too lazy to buy a birthday present for Munakata. Therefore, Mikoto decided to accompany Munakata a whole day long on his birthday. Munakata pleased with Mikoto's decision. Being with Mikoto all day long in his birthday is the best gift he ever could.

Munakata pulled his left hand that still gripped Mikoto, and kissed hands. "Good morning." He said and then stroked the hair Mikoto. "What time is it?"

"At 8 in the morning. Take a bath, I'll make breakfast. "

**End Flashback**

_Though I've tried to forget,_

_You're all that I am,_

_Take me home,_

_I'm through fighting it,_

Munakata remember. Last year, at the same time, he was in the shower while Mikoto cooking in the kitchen. Munakata got up and walked into the bathroom. Deep in his heart, he wished he could hear the sound of a knife from the kitchen. Although he knew it was not going to happen. And it was proven that from he entered the bathroom until he came out of, he did not hear any noise in the kitchen. In fact, when he entered the kitchen, he did not find Mikoto.

_Broken,_

_Lifeless,_

_I give up,_

_You're my only strength_

**Flashback**

Munakata looked at the food in front of him. Overcooked fish, miso soup with tofu and seaweed that has not been cut, and a warm white rice.

"Sorry I did not cut the tofu and seaweed." Said Mikoto who was smoking at the table across from Munakata. "Too much trouble."

Munakata smiled. He was already used to with his lover's lazy attitude. "It's alright." Munakata said then ate the fish, tasteless. He knew Mikoto roasted the fish with his flame, making the fish taste very bitter. But Munakata got no problem with it. Could eat the cook of someone he loved was a pleasure for him.

**End Flashback**

_Without you,_

_I can't go on,_

_Anymore,_

_Ever again._

Munakata opened the refrigerator and found the fish and tofu which he bought yesterday. Because yesterday he still wished Mikoto cook for him. But today he realized it was not going to happen. He took the milk and bread for breakfast this morning.

After breakfast, he turned on the tv and played his favorite movies and Mikoto. When the film began, he sat on the couch. He could not enjoy the movie being played. Once a wfile, he looked towards at his right. Because that was where last year Mikoto sat with him in his arms while watching.

_My only hope,_

_(All the times I've tried)_

_My only peace,_

_(To walk away from you)_

_My only joy,_

**Flashback**

"Reisi, you're heavy." Moaned Mikoto because Munakata hugged him too tightly from behind.

"Hm? but I really want to hug you. "Munakata said, smiling naughty. He realized that he had said something that made Mikoto's face flushed.

"You can hug me but do not forget to watch!"

"Yeah ... yeah."

**End Flashback**

_My only strength,_

_(I fall into your abounding grace)_

_My only power,_

_My only life,_

_(And love is where I am)_

_My only love._

Without realizing it, Munakata felt the tears come out again. Munakata immediately wiped his tears and turned off the unfinished movie he watched, and decided to go out. Be all day at his home in his birthday made him kept remembering Mikoto and that made him terrible. He decided to go to a place that will make him forget Mikoto on this day alone… only for today.

_I can't run anymore,_

_I give myself to you,_

_I'm sorry,_

_I'm sorry,_

Munakata did not know where to go. His feet walked aimlessly. He tried to enjoy around him. Many people passed by on the sidewalk. And when he saw the book stores across the street, he stopped there. He knew the book store. It was the store where he usually visited with Mikoto when they were still in high school.

_In all my bitterness,_

_I ignored,_

_All that's real and true,_

_All I need is you,_

**Flashback**

Mikoto looked annoyed when he and Munakata and stopped in front of the bookstore. "Reisi, why are we here?" asked Mikoto.

Munakata sighed, he knew Mikoto didn't like to come here. But there was a assignment for the next day and he had to buy the book. "For tomorrow's assignment, I have to buy the book. Please wait while I am looking for the book. "Said Munakata. He went into the bookstore and started looking for a book.

He was looked for a book with a rush, because he did not want to make Mikoto wait too long. When he found it, he immediately paid the book in the cashier and went outside the bookstore. Suddenly, he stopped walking when he saw Mikoto was reading a magazine on the magazine rack next to the exit. Munakata sighed and walked to Mikoto.

"Suoh, let's go home." Bring Munakata.

"Hn." Mikoto replied as he continued to read, yet, unmoving. Munakata was curious to know what Mikoto read. It was so unusual for Mikoto to be interested in something. Munakata peeked from behind the article reads Mikoto. "Scepter 4?"

Mikoto was surprised when he heard the voice from behind. He immediately turned around and closed the magazine. "Re ... Reisi?! you surprised me! "Mikoto said.

"Why are you surprised? let's go home! "said Munakata while beating him slowly with a book he had just bought. "After all, it's quite odd to see you read a magazine. Are you interested in Scepter 4? "Asked Munakata.

Mikoto shook his head. "I just feel you are suited to working for Scepter 4. You are fit in with their uniform. "Mikoto said with a smile. Munakata paused at the sight of a smile. Munakata did not have dreams. He just took his life as habit, do the routine everyday. But when he heard what Mikoto said, for the first time, he wanted to be a Scepter 4. He wanted to make Mikoto happy.

**End Flashback**

_When night falls on me,_

_I'll not close my eyes,_

_I'm too alive,_

_And you're too strong,_

Munakata smiled slightly as he recalled the moment. After graduation, he started becaming a member of Scepter 4, until now. He wanted Mikoto to join the Scepter 4, together with him. But he knew, Mikoto did not fit in Scepter 4.

Munakata kept walking, quickly, because he knew that at the end of the pavement, he will find a place he used to visit in Mikoto's birthday. Bar Homra, Mikoto's home.

_And you're too strong,_

_I can't lie anymore,_

_I fall down before you,_

_I'm sorry,_

_I'm sorry._

"Welcome." Munakata can hear Izumo's voice that welcome him. He saw the bar was still empty, made he felt a little relieved. Because he couldn't predict how Yata's reaction if he see Munakata there. "Why is Blue King coming here? Are you coming as a customer? ".

Munakata walked toward the table in front of Izumo and sit in front of Izumo. "Yes, _Turkey _please." Said Munakata when he ordered drink that he and Mikoto used to have in Mikoto's birthday.

"Ok, wait a minute." While waiting for his drink so, Munakata looked around bar. Last year, he went to the Bar Homra at night, to take Mikoto home. The ambience of the bar in the morning is different from the eveningand evening. "Please." Izumo said that took Munakata out of his daydreaming for a moment.

"Thank you." Said Munakata then noticed a drink in front of him. Again and again he thought of Mikoto. When Mikoto ordered the same drink, as he toasted with Mikoto, when he was talking to Mikoto about their lives. And Munakata cried again.

Damn, he missed Mikoto.

_My only hope,_

_(All the times I've tried)_

_My only peace,_

_(To walk away from you)_

_My only joy_

_,_

"Munakata-san?" Ask Izumo surprised to see Munakata crying.

"I'm sorry. I just thought Mikoto. Usually he accompanied me a whole day at home in my birthday. Today I left the house, to forget about it for a moment. But it doesn't work. Damn .. I miss him. Though I have killed him. And I want to apologize to him. But it is too late. He's gone ... "Munakata said as he covered his face. He did not want to look weak in front of Izumo. Only Mikoto who may see it like this.

Izumo sighed to see his today's first customers's behavior. Izumo open one drawer, took out a piece of paper, and handed it to Munakata. Munakata started it puzzled. "This is for you. Mikoto wrote before the Ashinaka School accident. "

Heard the name Mikoto mentioned, Munakata took the paper and read its contents.

_My only strength,_

_(I fall into your abounding grace)_

_My only power,_

_My only life,_

_(And love is where I am)_

_My only love._

_**Dear Reisi,**_

_**I'm sorry I can't be with you on your birthday this year.**_

_**I'm sorry because I can't cook a tasty on your birthday.**_

_**Even so, thanks for eating my cooking.**_

_**Forgive me for I have made you a dirty job.**_

_**And thank you to kill me.**_

_**Because I don't want to be hurt by someone else, just you.**_

_**Thank you also loving me.**_

_**I love you**_

_**Suoh**_

_Constantly ignoring,_

_The pain consuming me,_

_But this time it's cut too deep,_

_I'll never stray again._

Munakata's hands shook after he finished reading the letter written by Mikoto. He could not help crying.

"I'm sorry ... I'm sorry ..." Munakata said repeatedly. Before long, he felt his body warm, as there is someone who embraced him from behind. And he heard Mikoto's voice.

"I love you ..." Munakata surprised by what he heard. Yet, he smiled. At least he knew that Mikoto loved him, and he loves Mikoto. Mikoto will always be in his heart, because Mikoto will always be with him.

"I love you too."

_My only hope,_

_(All the times I've tried) _

_My only peace,_

_(To walk away from you)_

_My only joy,_

_My only strength,_

_(I fall into your abounding grace)_

_My only power,_

_My only life,_

_(And love is where I am)_

_My only love,_

_My only hope,_

_(All the times I've tried)_

_My only peace,_

_(To walk away from you)_

_My only joy,_

_My only strength,_

_(I fall into your abounding grace)_

_My only power,_

_My only life,_

_(And love is where I am)_

**I'm sorry if this story has a bad ending. But, R &R please.**


End file.
